By Mike Soika
As I get older, I think more and more about dying and what may be on the “other side” and thus, I have a new sense of urgency on trying to come to peace with this unknowable question: what is the Divine. It has been a long, and yet unfinished journey.
I am well past believing in the Divine as a spirit-being in human form. I lean more toward a universal Spirit than I do to some version of the holy trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit that I was taught in Catholic grade school.
The idea of God as energy infused into everything throughout the cosmos is a theory of the Divine that I have vacillated about for quite a while. I finally had to admit that this notion of God as passive energy is something I can understand in my head, but have a difficult time embracing with my heart.
If the Divine is simply a non-transcendent spirit infused into every fiber of the universe, then what is that tender voice I hear deep in my heart and which I know as that of God in me – just as surely as I know the sound of my wife’s voice?
My current thinking is that the universe is woven with the thread of the Divine, and God is the weaver of the thread. In other words, the Divine is in the world and transcends the world, but God does not directly intervene in the world. The transcendent Spirit is that “still small voice” we Quakers strive to hear and act upon. But, whether we do the work to hear the voice and whether we act on its guidance is completely up to us. The result, is a God that cannot guarantee a good outcome. People who do evil may very well prevail – at least in the short run.
For a long while I found it frightening to think about facing the world alone, without a supreme being somehow manipulating events to accomplish a just and loving cosmic order. I have reconciled myself to the idea that the only miracles that come about are those we fashion ourselves through our love, through our actions, and through following the urgings of the light within. Transformation of the world will come about by the actions we take to help others feel and embrace the light within. That’s the only hope we have. Universal transformation comes through personal transformation.
Given my current spiritual understanding, when Friends ask to be held “in the Light” at the end of meeting for worship, what I end up praying for is not divine intervention because I don’t believe the Spirit works that way. Rather, I pray that the person will further open up their heart and soul to the light of God already within and when/if they do, they will receive the guidance and comfort they need.
All these theories about God and the afterlife come down to one basic question: What happens to me when I die? Do I have a soul that is eternal? Am I a fractal of the Divine and when I die, I meld into the oneness of the universal spirit? Is the idea of me as separate from God just a figment of our western culture imagination?
Believe me, I have prayed and meditated many hours on this question and this is all I’ve got: Yes there is a God – whose understanding is beyond our capability. Trust that the voice you hear is the Divine. Trust that the Spirit is one of love and kindness. And then – let all else go.
Perhaps life comes down to a simple formula:
Listen deeply.
Act justly.
Trust God.