Editor’s Note: Shareletter strives to feature a member/attender interview for each edition. We want to thank Sabine for sharing her spiritual journey with us here.

1. How long have you been a Quaker?

I actually don’t identify as a Quaker (yet?). I’ve been attending Quaker Meetings for Worship for about 3 ½ years and in many ways I feel like I belong, but calling myself a Quaker isn’t right for me right now. Maybe it’s an aversion to labeling parts of my identity or maybe I don’t feel like I know enough about Quakerism to claim it, but I love that I can still come to MFM and be accepted by people who celebrate the fluidity of spirituality. I was delightfully surprised when Nino – who I saw as such a Quakerly Quaker – told me it took her years to decide to call herself a Quaker.

2. What brought you to Quakerism?

While preparing to graduate from college, I was thinking about the kinds of learning I felt burned out in and the kinds of learning I still felt eager for. I found myself wondering if a spiritual life was something I could have. These questions and a bit of good luck led me to a fellowship year with Quaker Voluntary Service where I learned about Quakerism and met a lot of amazing Friends.

3. What keeps you coming back?

Silent worship is my oasis in this overstimulating world. It’s this big, agenda-less gathering that is mostly quiet – I’m always curious what’s going to happen! I’d never had a faith community before and sometimes I don’t understand how it works or how I can fit but I always get filled with awe and gratitude for the ways everyone holds together.

4. What aspects of Quakerism do you absolutely cherish?

The vibes! Quakers have this deep caring and drive to nurture paired with humbleness and silliness. It makes me feel like I can be my whole self. Also, I was introduced to Clearness Committees while in college and I love the practice of having a community ask questions to help an individual discern what is right and true for them.

5. Are there any aspects of Quakerism that you would rather do without?

While I appreciate the ways Quakers today are involved in prison abolition, I wish we didn’t shy away from the historical role Quakers played in advocating for prisons and solitary confinement. It’s something I want to reckon with but people don’t talk about it.

6. There is a continuum of faith regarding the role of God in the world. Some believe that the Divine is active in the world and “has a plan” for everything while at the other end of the spectrum, others believe that there is a Divine Spirit infused in everything but that there is no “hand of God” guiding the universe. What is your “theory of God” and how does that impact your spiritual journey?

I don’t believe in God, at least in any conventional way. The term is too tangled up in my mind with colonialism and cis-hetero-patriarchy. While I’ve been working on being open to the many ways people understand God, I still find it challenging to listen past that word to hear the message. Even the MFM maxim “Answering that of God in everyone” raises some resistance in me. I do believe in loving-kindness and ecosystems and community. I believe in interconnectedness that ripples beyond my own knowing and awareness. I believe in systems and feedback loops that we are all a part of, often with beings we don’t think about and in ways we don’t realize.

7. What do you find most challenging about your spiritual journey?

One of my most present challenges these days is figuring out how to allocate my time and energy in the ways that are most aligned with my values and most life-giving. I like the Quaker concept of “Way opens” but I often struggle to see where I’m led.

8. Is Quakerism a practice (orthopraxy) or a religion (orthodoxy)?

Not being an expert on these concepts, I would say that it seems more like orthopraxy because of the diversity of beliefs among Friends. There seems to always be an orientation toward action.

9. What advice do you have for someone just beginning to explore Quakerism?

It’s interesting to ask people what they do during worship or how they hold people in the light. And at the same time, I’m realizing there’s not a right way to worship; each day you have to figure it out for yourself.

10. Anything you would like to add?

It’s been such a joy to get to know the people that make up this community!