By Mike Soika

We all know who “those people” are: the ones we are uncomfortable being around.  They are people who are unlike us and who we fear – although we might not call it that:  fear.  We might say that “those people” don’t follow the norms.  They don’t know how to act.  They don’t talk like us.  They dress differently than do we or anyone we care about.  They live a life unfamiliar to ours as if they resided in another country where kindness, and understanding, and common decency are alien to their psychic make up. At least, that’s what we imagine.

We know “those people.”  They are loud and pushy.  They expect to get their way. They stick to their own kind and speak in code words intended to exclude the rest of us from understanding. 

When we are around “those people” we feign to be friendly, but we really would rather they go away.  We don’t want to be near them and we don’t want to talk to them.  The fact is, we just don’t trust them.  We feel disdain with the very thought of them as part of our community.

Remarkably, I attended a Milwaukee Friends Meeting event recently where we – collectively – expressed some of these very same feelings against outsiders – against “those people.”   Some of us railed against them.  Said that we should not even TALK to them.  Said that they cannot be trusted.  Said that their presence would only make things worse.

Were we talking about members of the LGBTQ community?  Were we talking about people of color? Were we talking about people with disabilities? 

No.  We were talking about “the police.”   And that’s how we defined these men and women who have sworn to protect and serve our community.  We called them “the police” as if every one of the 2,500 sworn officers in Milwaukee County could be unilaterally defined, demeaned, and disdained.

I found it a bit ironic that some at this meeting stood to defend a group who reportedly threatened us, who, we were told, “did outlandish things to other peace groups,” who treated one of our members so badly on social media that she was fearful for her family.  Some in this group – we were told – had become armed.  The defenders reminded us that those who threatened us and our member were also children of God and we should give them the benefit of the doubt.  That we should talk to them and hear them out.  That we should seek common ground.

But when the issue of talking to the police about this apparent threat came up, there seemed to be a concerted effort to disdain any thought of it.  In fact, some even said we should not even talk to them.  We were told that “the police” would only make things worse and we should not invite them to be anywhere near our event.

Are not the men and women who serve our community as police also children of God?  Are they not unique individuals who have the same challenges and struggles as do many of us?

And yet, they were treated differently.  They were treated disrespectfully.  They were dismissed as if they were demons who could not be trusted.

A while back, I served as a commissioner on the city of Milwaukee Fire and Police Commission, which at the time was the most powerful citizen oversight board in the country.  We had the power to hire and fire any personnel, including the chief of police.  I chaired the citizen complaint committee of the Commission and in that capacity I got to see the worst police offenders within the Milwaukee police department, and handed down disciplinary actions appropriately.  But I also attended the funerals of officers who were slain in the line of duty.  The pain their loved ones and fellow officers felt at the needless loss was no less than the pain anyone of us would feel when a promising young life is snuffed out suddenly and senselessly.  Watching a young mother with a toddler on her lap, struggle to be brave during her husband’s funeral service was heart breaking to me.  I prayed for her and her family.

In short, I have seen the men and women of the police as frail human beings who – for the most part – are doing the best they can to live a life of dignity and service.  I have seen them as children of God.   I only hope that the rest of us can see them in the same way.