By Kevin O’Brien

“Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”  Mary Oliver

In our last Shareletter I reflected on the amazing, mystical power of silence in our Meeting.  How is it that when two or more are gathered in the name of Light, healing happens, inspiration happens, joy grows, connections are made?  There is communication happening within and between us as we show up in loving presence for each other.  Regularly, I show up, pay attention, and am astonished by the power of this quiet.  Usually, I just “tell about it” through a small smile, a sigh, or a dropping of my shoulders.  Occasionally, I feel some message stirring that might lead me to “tell about it” through vocal ministry.

I find myself circling a message many times before sharing during Meeting for Worship, if I do at all.  I am always a bit anxious about speaking in public.  I wat to make sure it sounds right.  I am afraid I will forget something as I start to speak.  Mostly, though, I feel a heavy burden of responsibility to you all before I speak.

I know there are some great resources, including this image posted on the board outside the Meeting room, that can help us determine whether the message growing inside of us is meant for us, or for the whole; whether it is simply a response to what someone else shared earlier in the Meeting, or whether it is truly rising from Spirit; or whether it is mixed with or ego or intellect’s need to make a good impression.

Lately I have been asking myself this simple question before offering a leading through vocal ministry: Will this leading minister to the community more so than the simple, powerful Silence which we are creating together this morning? 

Since the election, there has been a significant increase in vocal ministry – I am sure we have all noticed the trend.  We are all accountable to Spirit, and to the community, for determining if or when our leadings will be shared.  As I shared in my last reflection, I gain something from nearly every sharing that people offer.  My challenge is that busy Meetings do not allow me to take inside what people share deeply; to let it soak in to my soul with the aid of our deep well of Silence.

I have found that some of the “popcorn” Meetings have fed my soul, and that some have definitely not.   I have also noticed recently that newcomers have spontaneously commented on how a busy Meeting felt a little off to them.  A friend who accompanied my daughter to their first Meeting said plainly that she really enjoyed the quiet, but that she was thrown off by the amount of talking during that Meeting.  A person who had attended smaller Meetings from another part of the country commented on the number of leadings and asked if that was typical of our Meeting.

I am inviting you to join a conversation about this trend in our Meeting.  How do you experience it?  How do you decide when to share, and when not to?  What does the community need right now?

It is this last question that is most on my mind.  I feel like part of the increase in Meetings with several leadings feels like faith sharing events I have attended.  I have gotten much from various faith sharing conversations.  It does seem to me that our community may need to grow the number of spaces for us to talk through our confusion, our worries, or efforts to find inspiration and our next steps through the darkness.

Relative to our size, there is a seeming tidal wave of people who are newly interested in what happens in our way of worshipping together.  What will serve us as we grow in numbers?  What adjustments can we make?  How will those who are new to Quakerism experience the great mystery of Silent Worship as richly as we did when we first came to love this way of being together.

We are clearly being called to discern courageous action to bring Light to our troubled times.  What forms of discerning together can we try when the weekly Meeting for Worship, and the Monthly Meeting for Worship with Attention to Business cannot fully contain this call?

I am sure those who have been Quakers longer – much longer – than I, have been through similarly tumultuous times.  The Vietnam, Gulf and Iraq wars are clear examples; or the Great Recession is another.  I am also sure that each Meeting has a unique “flavor” in how they respond to these challenges.  How do other Meetings balance worship in Silence and vocal ministry?  

We come to Meeting to pay attention to (and as) the Light.  We are often astonished.  Telling about it is the tricky part.