By Mike Soika
When a Friend at Meeting for Worship stands to talk, I keep my eyes closed because most often, I will know who is speaking by the sound of their voice.
That’s exactly what happened on a recent Sunday when three Friends stood to give testimony. I sat with my eyes closed and prayed for an open heart to hear their words and absorb their wisdom. It was during this time of reflection that I remembered the Bible verse (John: 10) where Jesus said “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”
On this particular day I felt as if I was hearing the voice of the Divine because the testimonies of our Friends spoke powerfully to me. In fact, I commented to my wife after meeting that I walked away feeling empowered, feeling closer to my MFM community, and feeling more at peace than when I arrived. And the image I received of the sheep following the voice of the shepherd only helped to reinforce my sense of awe.
To me, that is part of the magic of our Quaker tradition of vocal ministry. When Friends season their testimony before standing to speak by struggling to understand whether the voice they hear is from God or from their own ego, and then rise with the certainty of their calling to speak in the voice of the Divine, then – and only then – does a sense of Spirit descend upon all present.
I strive to listen to all who testify with an open mind and a caring heart. I work hard to understand how that particular message is for my own discernment.
But often, I struggle over being too judgmental. I will catch myself thinking, “that sounds like this Friend prepared this testimony before coming here.” Or “That doesn’t sound like something meant for us all.” I’m not proud of these thoughts, but I must say – I do think they are sometimes true.
When I was a “baby Quaker” I would rise to speak rather frequently. But now that I am a more seasoned Friend – I rarely rise to provide vocal ministry. I try to remain humble. My first, second, and third instinct is to believe that I am unfit to speak in the name of the Lord. I resist the call until I am certain – as certain as I can be – that the Divine has chosen me to give this testimony to this group of believers at this particular moment.
When we rise to give testimony, we must do so as the voice of the Spirit, so much so that the entire community will recognize the voice and know they are being called.